People often say that despite the number of choices you have, you’ll gravitate towards the one your heart chooses. Of course it’s really the mind that does this, but I appreciate the sentiment. But what if your mind is having a really crap day and is grasping at straws to find solace? Are events that are chosen impulsively not worth the pathways that have been carefully trod over and over again?
For me, it’s a bit of both. I loved University, despite entering it with the mindset that is only now taught to students – uni life won’t be the utopia of free love you’ve been mindlessly force fed (unless you really work hard at it, I guess) and ever since, I end up gravitating towards study again – I can’t help it. I flirt with the professional world but it’s usually a fling at that. I worked in online marketing for a year and really enjoyed it, more than I thought I would, but studying always beckons to me. Of course, the PhD is a different kettle of fish, but it’s a choice that I’ve stuck by despite the monetary fear.
I guess it boils down to this: if you asked me whether I’d have a husband, mortgage car and 2.4 children and knowing exactly where I’m going and what I’m doing or studying something that I really wanted without a clue of what the future holds, I’d go for the latter. I’m a bit of a weirdo, aren’t I?